Richard Wilson: the company one-liner needs another version
Richard composed example company descriptions during the fourth Rainmaker module and immediately criticized some of them as too long. That live editing is part of the lesson: the first usable sentence is a starting point.
Use facts with a job to do
Richard showed how a description could include years in business, operating volume or a business model. The figures were there to help a reader understand the activity and scale. A list of flattering adjectives did not provide the same information.
The sentence has limited space
Richard also explained that a descriptive brand name can carry part of the explanation. If the name says little, the sentence has to explain more. Revision is a way to decide which facts earn their place in that limited space.
In Richard's words
"It's about getting version number 20 version number 40 out there" (Richard C. Wilson, recorded library commentary)
How to use this
- Give every fact in the sentence a clear purpose.
- Revise the sentence after asking a new reader what they understood.
Questions and answers
Did Richard present his first examples as finished copy?
No. He described some as long or clunky and emphasized revision.
How does the company name affect the sentence?
A descriptive name can do some of the explanatory work, leaving room for other facts.